Visiting the Princess

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A BDSM session with Mel Gibson

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Finally back up on my feet

I had a real bad fall last week.The gash is quite a foot long. and ran quite deep. Lucky for me I had a couple of tricks up my sleeve. Most worrisome was my left lower leg felt numb. Being permamently paralyzed wasn't far from my mind. Wiith an ungainly left gait and a gaping scar, I had been very reluctaant to leave the house. I have been kinda of moody for the whole week. Finally my best friend had enough my melancholy and urged me to get dress for dinner rather than just louging around the house. I tried my favorite pair of red heels. Not exactly elegant but it's nice to get back into my size 7. We did end up going to our favorite restaurant in Joo Chiat which I have not gone for about a week. As long as I am mobile again, the scar is a small price.

Meeting a new sista and Mel Gibson

It's been awhile that I've had a great meet. So neat to to say that  I met "Mel Gibson" in May eventhough I made a boo boo as I couldn't tell Tantric from Taboo. Mel doesn't like his pic taken. I met a new sista just beginning on a new discovery. A great starter, as I also found a slow dance partner. I did post for a meet in April. Those that messaged me on FB or KIK (nicolesingslave) .. we danced, had fun and we got some leads on a new BDSM adventure. I trully believe that a princess can have have her cake by the ocean. :-) I run a local Singapore trangender group call SGGURLS. We're admirer friendly. Our group home: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sggurls Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1567083706923641/ You can also contact me via kik nicolesingslave

Gurls of Singapore

Gurls of Singapore

Posted On: January 20, 2011

This article first appeared on The Online Citizen.

There was a new beauty pageant in Singapore named TruMe, an online transgender beauty pageant organised by Action for Aids; it will be officially launched Feb 2011.

The moderator of Sggurls, a transgender activist who identifies herself as Nicole Singslave, told me that she coined the pageant’s name ‘Tru Me’ after the blockbuster film, ‘The Truman Show’. Nicole shared, “In the movie, Truman lived for everyone but himself. When he finally discovered a TV-serial made of him, the fog lifted and he had clarity to break his strife of living his own life or a scripted one. [sic] Tru-Me is a play on the word Tru-Man.”

“I dropped the letter ‘e’ in True to portray the hidden half of a transgender’s life. I changed the “Man” in “Tru-Man” to “Me”, signifying the greyness of gender. The idea was crafted within a space of a quarter hour. It must have been one of those issues that had succor deep within me,” she elaborated.

Who are transgenders?

‘Transgender’ is generally used as a catch-all term for a variety of individuals, behaviours, and groups centered on the full or partial reversal of gender roles. One currently accepted definition is “People who were assigned a gender, usually at birth and based on their genitals, but who feel that this is a false or incomplete description of themselves”.

That could mean that a person born female now identifies as male (some people use the term female-to-male, abbreviated to FtM) or an assigned male at birth who now identifies as female (also sometimes noted as MtF). But FtM or MtF are not the only categories of transgender, as there are an infinite number of possible gender identities out there in the world, such as transsexual, cross-dressing, transvestite, consciously androgynous people, people who are genderqueer, people who live cross-gender, drag kings and drag queens, amongst many others.

Not all MTFs hate their penises, are disturbed by erections, or necessarily want their erections to stop. Also, somebody who identifies as ‘transgender’ does not necessarily imply a specific form of sexual orientation. This means the person may identify as heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, polysexual, or asexual.

Who are transsexuals?

The term transsexual is applied to someone who is post-operative, or who plans to, or is in the process of sexual reassignment surgery, hormonal treatments, etc.

Transsexuals are considered transgender. But not all transgender people are transsexual. For instance, those who self identify as butch lesbians and cross-dressers do not see themselves as transgender. Contrary to common belief, most male-bodied cross-dressers prefer female partners and tend to be married.

Transgenders in Singapore

According to an entry posted by Afa volunteer Talya Stone on her blog Ms Demeanor: “Tru Me sets out to…portray the individual essence of beauty, glamour, and the versatile success of every confident and self-loving transgender individual.”

This is what Stone found out about transgenders in Singapore:

• In 1967, Transgender was listed as a condition in the Singapore Armed Forces ‘Directory of Diseases’.
• In 1973 Singapore legalized sexual reassignment surgery and went on to be one of the leaders in the field for 30 years. Those seeking surgery flocked to Singapore to make their dreams a reality.
• Bugis Street used to be the colourful and extravagant epicentre of Singapore’s transgender community before it was redeveloped. And, because it was a tourist attraction raking in a lot of money for various reasons, the Singapore Tourist Board actually tried to recreate some of the atmosphere but failed abysmally.
• In 1996, transsexuals were granted the right to get married to opposite-sex spouses and live life as they chose.

Gender roles are an important part of many cultures. Many transgender people often have to face considerable prejudice; indeed, many people have to be informed that not all transgenders are sex workers! And, that they have as much right as the next person to express their sexuality. A pageant like TruMe is one small but brave step in triggering discussion of what transgender means and hopefully further understanding and acceptance of the community in our society.

Dr. Martha Lee is Founder and Clinical Sexologist of Eros Coaching. She is a certified sexologist with a Doctorate in Human Sexuality. She provides sexuality and intimacy coaching for individuals and couples, conducts sexual education workshops and speaks at public events. For more, visit www.eroscoaching.com or email drmarthalee@eroscoaching.com.

April 2017 Moderator Meet: the aftermath

It's our first moderator meeting after the departure of the old guards. An aftermath that spells start over. I am the old gurl in the group and the generation gap is big. I saw one of the gurls grow up and now living full time as a transwoman. SGGURLS began when the phone and camera were two different devices and phones were bricks. One of the mods commented that I still look the same as 10 years ago. (LOL jialat no progress). Key on the night's agenda were what had happened and what's the splinter group doing. Typical of me, I address the simple one first. What the splinter group is doing? I really don't know and don't care. There are many groups before and after the birth of SGGURLS. Here's a listing contemporary trans groups: http://oogachaga.com/congregaytion/website/detail/7 Groups are created when people gravitate to each other. When the chemistry is gone, people go their own way. That's just life. The more groups that exist in Singapore or SE Asia, the better it is for the LGBT community. Diversity means more options. SGGURLs event if organized by me will always be indoors, fully airconditioned, quiet places with enough ambient music. Of course, some of the members out grew my taste. The new football club does BBQ and beer guzzling events, Super for people who love sweat, outdoors and getting drunk. I am a lounge lizard and outdoors ...naaahhhh. Beer? Naaaahhhhh. Prior to football club was the Secret Agent Group of gurls who parties in high end clubs. LOL, ya I know about the not so secret agent club and their secret changing place in Parkway Center, right Agent K? There was also a group of gurls who set up an apartment in Paya Lebar. For a nominal fee, gurls can dress up, rent a locker to store their stuff. That was a good idea but with high rental in Singapore it's got to cater to a much wider audience to be commercially viable. SIS is an activist group set up artist Marla Bendini and talented designer Trish (designer of our SGGURLS) group. SIS champions transgender rights and represents us in PinkDot. My last mention was the group that organized the trans Pagent. Again great idea but after the first pagent, the organizers (most of are from SGGURLS) fizzled out. What happened in SGGURLS that caused the old guards to be ejected? There were 1 co-founder (Adaline) and 5 gurls ejected.  Co-founder Adaline was expelled, for two reasons and both related the SGGURL events she organized. The first was the BBQ event which she promoted with much fanfare, later said was cancelled but actually took place. The second was SGGURLS March meet which she had grandly advertised, on the day of the event abandoned and lied to me that she had attend to something urgent. Something urgent meant catastrophy that involved the emergency room. Being in some bar in Golden Mile with our new homies does not qualify as catastrophic. The other 5 gurls who engaged in cyber bullying were also expelled. These explusions can be temporary if the gurls acknowledge their mistake and don't repeat them. To err is human and to forgive is divine. As the founder of SGGURLS, the problem is squarely on my breasts. An absent leader is not much of a leader. This will continue to plague SGGURLS as work eats up my whole life. I do wish I can just up and leave to correct the biggest problem in my life: being born in the wrong gender. Unfortunately, SRS is not the end of the journey and thinking of the journey after next keeps me up at night toling away. Being just a pretty face won't pay the bills. This is third team running SGGURLS. Maybe third time is the charm and my successor is in plain sight.

SGGURLS March 2017 Meet: found new moderators and ISO more mods.

The last 24 hour was spicier than all the episodes of Tanglin. The Friday started by being stood up by my date. I waited like a goondoo until 8:00 pm. All he got to do was show up @ office, pick me up and go to SGGURLS gathering. But lucky for me I had another date. :-) Lo and Behold at the SGGURLs meet, I discovered that the organizer didn't even bother showing up. What's even worse was that she was my best friend and she lied to me. She went to another event organized by someone who salivates to own SGGURLS. The truth unravelled this morning when the big mouth who went to their party spilled the beans. Early 2016, before the fist fight of Cr and Es, Es brokered a meeting asking me to make Cr an owner of SGGURLS. I said I will think about it. The meeting was so stupid I never wrote anything about it. Can a drunkard really garner followers and be an influencer in SGGURLS? I laughed so hard that orange juice came out from my nose. But as life would have it, never underestimate a drunkard jackal. It outmanouvered me. Cr organized events to conincide with SGGURLS meet. Cr has got most of SGGURLS 2016 mods. I am a little sore that I got bitten by a cunning dog and it's done so insidiously that movie insicidious should take a page out of our politics. I can't be angry with the big Lady upstairs for cleaning my SGGURLS house for me. So I am in search of NEW mods for SGGURLS. I would eventually like to hand over the leadership reins to the right mod. The quality of SGGURLS mods:

• do what you say and say what you mean

I started SGGURLS when the internet was still a baby, the camera and phone were different devices. I posted events and I showed up even I was the only one. I recruited moderators that helped me formed the first nucleous of SGGURLS. I made some mistakes along the way by putting wrecks as moderators. The March event was organized by my best friend who turncoat and lied about it. And most smart people will smell bullshit a mile away. Yours was just in Golden mile.

• your real life is in order

For mods to really help other people, your life must in order. That means you need a stable job. You are socially responsible and you got street cred.

• mentally and emotionally stable

This criteria is best described by an example of what NOT to be. There's a toxic old fart who runs around town, bad mouthing everyone, bragging that she's a millionaire, claming to be a recovering gambling addict and offering free BJ to any guy desperate to have a lip around his shaft. This a person is so insecure that the only way she can feel good is by making everyone else feel like dirt including his loving wife who may on her last league of her life. Stultus, ut hoc adepto fulgur percussit per sapientiae SGGURLS forum http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sggurls SGGURLS facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1567083706923641/ #singapore #lifestyle #transgender #tv #ts #cd